One Really Long Couple of Days
by purple nail polish person
Summary: Oh no! What will happen? Will Dumbledore and Fudge end up in Draco's closet looking at old playboy's? Probably. Just read it. This is in response to a challenge. You'll laugh. Trust me.


This is a reply to Black Beyond's HP challenge  
  
Pairing:  
  
Rubeus Hagrid and Narcissa Malfoy  
  
  
Lines that must be included:  
  
Oh my God, what are you doing with the peanut butter?!?!  
  
"People just hate that, you know. It's quite rude, with all the blood and candy canes."  
  
"Fishsticks. Of all things, fishsticks?"  
  
"Oh, look. Porn!"  
  
1.) At some point, Harry Potter must be in contact with a giant indigo VW Beatle.  
  
2.) Fudge and Dumbledoor must somehow wind up in Draco's bedroom closet looking at old playboys, missing some article of   
clothing.  
  
3.) At the end of the story, Pansy must do a Riverdance with Dobby and Winky, wearing nothing but a tea-cosy and singing   
God Save the Queen.  
  
  
Rating:  
  
PG to PG-13, though I doubt I'll make it PG-13...just in case  
  
Disclaimer: All right everyone, I'm only going to do this once, so listen up. Nothing that even remotely reminds you of any   
to do with Harry Potter and related stuff...it ain't mine. I wish it were, but it's not. Second off...I'm making no money   
off of this, nor do I wish to. Third off... I'm turning this disclaimer into a dual warning. ***WARNING*** One of my friends   
challenged me to do this, and besides the fact that she is totally and completely psychotic, she was sleep deprived. The   
things in this story may disturb you as they did me, and I'm writing the darn thing. And another thing...I don't curse.   
If you're expecting that kind of Ficcy..go someplace else. And lastly.. Please do review. It makes me feel all warm inside.   
And if you don't, I'll get my completely psychotic, sleep-deprived warped friend to hunt you down and kill you, then place  
your cold fingers on the keyboard and type the freakin' reveiw for you. Have a nice day.  
  
  
  
  
One Really Odd Couple of Days  
  
  
It was August the 30, the day before class resumed in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry Potter had been   
packed for some time now, as usual, ready for the summer to be over. Of course Harry Potter was not a normal boy, neither  
in the Muggle world or the Wizarding world, for reasons that everyone should know.   
Dudley, his horrid cousin had been taunting him mercilessly, another thing that usually occured at this household,  
and Harry had been taking it, knowing that it was the last day before term. His best friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione   
Granger were coming to pick him up that night in one of Aurthor, Ron's father's company cars. As excited as he was that he  
was going back to school, he was ten times more excited to see his friends. With the returning of Voldemorte everything had  
been really depressing, knowing his world may very well change this year for the worse. Knowing his Godfather, Sirius Black  
may very be caught and killed at any time, and well... on top of that, he had to live with the Muggles.  
"When are you going to leave, bean-pole? Why haven't your "friends" come to take you away from us terribly normal  
decent people yet?" his mocking high falsetto tormented Harry, but all he did was sigh, and go up to his room to look out for  
their car, expecting a solemn black car like in his third year. What he did see was an absolutely huge indigo VW Beattle   
working it's way down the uneven road.  
Now, Harry just knew this couldn't be them, it couldn't, Petunia and Vernon would through a huge fit (after he left,  
it was true, but, still, it would be a huge fit) if it were. But, as he watched the large VW turn into number 4 Privit Drive,  
he raced downstairs, nearly knocking over Dudley in the process with a large trunk and bewildered owl hooting frantically   
because she had been rudely awakened from her nap. He torn open the door, disposed of the formalities and hopped into the   
back of the VW, barely having time to realize it had been magically expanded. He pulled Ron in as he closed the door,   
narrowly missing his foot.  
"Harry! What's going on? Wha-" Ron was rather rudely cut off, seeing Harry was bleeding from his palm. "Harry...  
you're bleeding." his very astute self made this comment as though he were pointing out the reason why E=MC squared.  
"Huh? Just... just drive...If Petunia or Vernon see this car, they'll have a hemmorage!" Harry said hurridly, looking  
at his palm. He noticed a large pointed candy-cane stuck to the top of his trunk, and came to the conclusion that Dudley   
had been in his room again,  
"Ugh...gross..I cut myself on this pointy candy-cane. Nasty! It's where he was licking it!" Harry paled a little  
and started trying to slow his bleeding.  
"People hate that, you know. It's quite rude, with all that blood and candy-canes." said Arthur knowledgably, as if  
this was something that Muggle people said everyday. Even Harry looked at the back of his chair oddly.  
"Huh, dear? What does that mean?" Molly looked over at Arthur with raised eyebrows, obviously as lost as everyone   
else in the car.  
"So...uh...when do we pick up Hermione? We've got midgit boy, now." Ron said, looking out the window, slightly pink  
around the ears.  
"Oh, yes. Harry...are you alright now? I was going to ask before...but then I got a little confused from the prophet,  
my husband." she turned in her seat, scowling at Arthur periodically.  
"I'm fine, but I'm not sure if your son is. He's been talking non-stop about Hermione lately." he looked over at Ron,  
who was trying to ignore where the conversation was turning by pretending to enjoy the scenery.   
Before they knew it, they were at the Granger's place, and after a half hour of coffee and endless questions from   
Ron's dad, they headed back to the burrow, Hermione in the middle of Ron and Harry.  
  
  
A/N: alright...like it? hate it? want me to continue? I think i will even if you hate it, just to see where  
it takes me. I know it's short, but in that time...a few extremely odd happening happen. When will Hagrid start dating   
Narcissa? When will Dumbledoor and Fudge find themselves in Draco's closet? When will...*cackles evilly* Pansy do her  
I'm sure, lovely dance? If you review...tell me when you want these things to happen. You choose my path, and may the force  
be with you. Wait..that's the wrong polt line isn't it? Oh, well.. Do reveiw. Pretty please? I love you! Peace, love, and  
PURPLE NAIL POLISH!! 


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